Midlife Crisis

Well at least that is what my husband thinks is happening.

The last week has been pretty bad probably the worst I have felt in a long time.

I have been feeling unhappy, frustrated and lonely and it has made me feel pretty rotten and lots of tears. I have felt like running away but I know that won't solve anything.

My weight isn't moving cause im still having food issues.  I have been doing heaps of exercise and really enjoying it except for this week it's been a struggle but I've still done it.

I turn 40yrs very soon and I do feel like my life is half over and I havent really achieved anything. I havent traveled other than 2 trips to oz and I don't have a job or a career and for the last 20yrs all I have done is try to lose weight and im tired of fighting for it the time.

I wish I could get my head in the right space and just do it once and for all but my emotions always take over.

I know that life isn't supposed to be easy but sometimes I would like a break and I know there are people out there worse off than me but to me what I feel is pretty bad.

I have been told that I live in the past to much and I guess I do but I dont know how to forget the past because it has had a big impact on how I am today and I live a life full of regret and maybe that is holding me back but there are some things I have done that I just cant forgive myself for because I hurt someone I love really badly and I have to live with that everyday.

I need to move forward but I dont know how :-(