The last few days have been quite frustrating for me. I weighed on Monday and only lost 100g and I was so annoyed because I thought I was doing so well and I had been eating better and I couldn't understand it.
So the old thoughts came back into my head why bother, just quit, what's the point and TW just said keep doing what your doing and relax about it and stop worrying so much.
I do worry and maybe that's why I struggle because I do put so much pressure on myself which I have to learn to stop doing because it is not going to help me get where I want to be.
I wanted to train on Monday it was upper body day but I hurt my shoulder on Saturday and I didn't want to risk injuring it even more so went for a walk instead.
So today was my session with JA and he weighed me and the scales said 127.6kgs so I had lost 900g so that is proof that this is working and it also tells me not to weigh on a Monday because my eating changes over the weekend so I will now just weigh at the Gym on a Wednesday and I will keep on keeping on.
Regardless of what my head is saying I am doing well and I know this because I am lasting 1hr with JA, I am running faster than last week, I am pushing through and I am taking little steps and I am achieving slowly.
I really do have to stop beating myself up cause it gets me nowhere haha
While out on my run today I was thinking that even though the weight isn't dropping off fast when I was at this weight 7yrs ago I sure as heck wouldn't be running around the block I would be lucky if I could walk around there without stopping 100 times, and I certainly wouldn't be going back inside and boxing and doing a circuit it just wasn't possible.
So I have to remember that I may not be changing on the outside as fast as I would like but on the inside I am changing and I have to realise I'm human I'm not perfect I will just have to keep trying and trying and trying and oneday I will get there.
I have changed a lot of things I am more careful with what I eat, I'm not eating take aways 5 times a week so little steps and over the years I have changed a lot.
I beat anorexia, I beat a binge eating disorder, I beat depression man I should be patting myself on the back not beating myself up haha.
I am so worth this and I will take as long as I can to get where I want each week changing something little whether it be food, exercise or the way I think.
I CAN DO THIS :)
Yes you can do this Kris, and I really admire you for doing it the way you are. I know you had other choices before you, but you chose to do it this way, which is probably harder, and lots of other people would have not done it this way. You are an inspiration, keep it up.
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